Vern's Verbal Vibe

Singer-songwriter/multi-instrumentalist and purveyor of folk 'n' roll: spirit-filled sad songs made better.

November 30, 2009

Newsflash: Toronto Bans Snow

TORONTO (KP) - In a rare show of solidarity, Toronto City Council has unanimously voted to ban snow for the entire month of November, the Kanadian Press has learned.

Councillor Clem Methuselah said, "As we all know, snow is white ... well, that's how it falls, anyway. And as such it is in direct contravention of the City's Greener Than Thou policy. We are banning snow for a brighter, greener tomorrow."

Chief Medical Officer Alvin Losparanoias gushed, "Any snow-free day is a godsend. Every year, the snow pandemic fells our most vulnerable: the homeless, the elderly, and the Toronto Maple Leafs."

And Councillor Bobby Fjord was heard to chime in, "I'm sick of Council over-regulating our lives, but even I can get behind this. It's a no-brainer. Besides, at the end of the day, the sun sets."

Word is that the City aims to extend the ban well into December.

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