Vern's Verbal Vibe

Singer-songwriter/multi-instrumentalist and purveyor of folk 'n' roll: spirit-filled sad songs made better.

March 29, 2009

Season Pass Update

Ze pass 'as been procured, boss, and the first six dates have been sought. Am thoroughly enjoying MLB's Gameday Audio package (a steal at CAN$19), which has allowed me to eavesdrop on spring games from across the majors. As for the dating, I'm 0-for-1 with 5 responses pending, but my refusal to take things personally is perhaps the biggest development. Hope I can keep that up.

Browsing the profiles is amusing. Today's biggest chuckle was elicited by a woman who announced off the top, "IM not lookin for FREAKS." Rest assured, darling, freaks aren't "lookin" for you either.

One week to Opening Day! Projected starters are Roy Halladay and the Tigers' Justin Verlander.

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March 03, 2009

Atheist Bus: The Rejoinder

As an ex-atheist, I bemusedly note that my erstwhile brethren have taken up preaching. Now, the God of my understanding has never caused me worry, so I must confess I don't know what they're on about.

But the god of atheism—science—is these days wont to wag its finger at my ilk, offering free advice on what to eat and drink, which vitamins to take, how much exercise to get, and so on. Lifestyle is now the domain of science, and it's sloppy science: causation inferred from correlation, extrapolations from animal studies, biased research beholden to special interests. So, I offer this rejoinder (inquiries from transit systems welcome):

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March 01, 2009

Best One-Liner Ever

"Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts."

(Spotted in a signature file; attributed to comic genius Steven Wright.)